Not your “Normal Friendship”

 

Well as most of you know Megan and I don’t live by each other, not even close. We did at the very start of our friendship in the great state of Wyoming. We started working together and basically the rest was history. I’m pretty sure we were together a majority of the time at work and outside of work too. I got the pleasure to be by her side during her pregnancy with Rylee by attending almost all her appointments. We would come over for dinner and play some games (Thank You Nintendo) all while rotating little miss Rylee.  I was pretty sad when she told me she was moving to Texas even though in two months we ended up moving to Indiana. It was just fast and quick and I was going to miss the person that helped fill my cup besides Mitchael of course. Now don’t get me wrong I know we had other friends that we made when we moved to Wyoming but as strong as their friendships were my friendship with Megan was something different. It was like I knew no matter where we moved and how long we go in between talking or seeing each other we were still going to be friends and “live” life together.

    Megan, Baby Rylee and I
My Favorite Picture of Pregnant Megan!

So, we have gone many years where we haven’t seen each other in person for a couple years in the middle of our friendship.  More like 4 years Megan and I hadn’t seen each other in person but that has changed completely in the last two years. We have seen each other 10 times between both our weddings and all the celebrations in-between. Now we have both done some traveling in order for this to happen and it’s some of the best times in my life thanks to both of our families. Our kids got the chance to meet each other in person for the first time when we came out for Megan and Jasper’s wedding. They picked up like they had been with each other before, they played like old friends even though it was a first for all of them.  It was hard for all of us to say Goodbye after the couple days because we never truly know when we will get the chance to visit each other again. That’s why we try so hard to keep our connection between visits and video chats etc.

So, let me tell you about my friend and the things I love most about her.  She willingly helped me when I got shingles and couldn’t wear much. Yes, I got shingles at the young age of 21 ( side note: I told the doctor I had them, he laughed said no way then I took off my dress and he told his nurse to go get the camera.) Anyways, she joined us on many boot nights and bowling or our late-night BBQ’s that would turn into a campfire with our group of friends playing bags. She taught me how to never pack when moving trust, me she doesn’t use boxes. She taught me to be willing and embrace her hugs because she likes to hand them out like candy on Halloween. Plus, the fact that we laugh at ourselves or each other more than we should and we think that’s okay!  She taught me that no matter how many times I tell her Hobby Lobby is closed on Sunday, she will still try and go because she had the day off or they didn’t look busy.

Just being one of the Kids!

Well When Megan moved away, we started by talking on the phone for hours after we would get home late from work. We also used to Skype so we could “see” each other. The endless amount of text all through the day and then it turned to video chatting like all the time. We literally do life together states apart.  By that, I mean we make lunch or any meal really together same time different houses someone’s always late or early your choice thank you time zones. We know each other’s schedules pretty well with our kids and school, dance, girl scouts, church etc. We eat/drink late nights on our couches after we put our kids to bed while our husbands aren’t home and sometimes, they both join in on the conversations when they do get home. Our kids take the phones from us and go talk by themselves until we call them back so we can finish our conversation. We try to be involved in this crazy life together 1,129 miles apart!

Filters Make us Laugh!

With that being said it makes our friendship have different hardships and joys than more traditional friendships. The joys of our friendship are knowing that one of us will make the other laugh about something stupid at any time in our conversations. We know if we’ve had a stressful day by the look on each other’s face while saying “I understand” or “I got You”. We find the joy when we can just be us with no make-up, pajamas and the optional bra and not judge each other. I know that I can work on my dishes or laundry and still tell Meg to get lower in the squat while she is working out. I find joy when my kids face lights up when Aunt Megan is calling because I feel the same way. But as much joy that I find in our friendship it comes with some hardships.

The hardships of having your best friend live so far away is when you don’t get the phone call or text back and you can’t just hop in the car and show up for them. The hard part is watching your friend going through so much heartache and not being able to give them the hug they need. We have both gone through personal hardships where we couldn’t be there for that person which I think caused us more pain than we thought it would. The hard part of always trying to answer my phone because I want her to know I will show up and support her hundreds of miles away. I want her to call me and pretend I’m sitting next to her wherever that is while we both become ugly criers if needed.  I will always try and be the shoulder she can cry on, the one that pretends to hug her through my phone. I will try to give her the advice she wants while still being honest even if she isn’t going to like my answer. I try and give her hubby a heads up if I think she needs something from him even if it’s just a longer embrace when he gets home or a bunch of flowers to brighten her day or some quiet time as she soaks in the tub with a glass of wine or just some candles.

Our normal is not everyone else’s normal and I’m okay with that. Basically, we treat our friendship like we treat our relationship. We try and communicate often and let the kids and husbands do their thing with some guidance from us. No matter what the distance is true friendship can last miles apart. We have lived more apart then together for our whole friendship and we probably won’t live in the same state or town until we are all old, wrinkly and retired. To most people that sounds horrible being away from your friend for so long but truly we have something to look forward to. We get the chance to live our life the way we want but still get to travel to see each other when we can and watch our friendship and families grow alongside each other. So, if your friend is moving away it’ll be okay, if you are having a hard time in life your friend can tell but might not be able to help the way you both want. So, if you have a friendship that’s long distance please tell us your details.  How long you’ve been friends? How far apart do you live from each other?  What is one thing that helps keep your friendship strong?

Love and Light

Mal